天作之盒

兩週前,我重新看了一遍《天作之盒》。這部蔡少芬主演的電影,講述的是在2003年SARS肆虐的香港英年早逝的謝婉雯醫生的故事。

第一次看這部電影, 是在2004年的冬天。那個時候,我剛剛從上海到香港。我的世界是清水灣和依山傍海妙不可言的科大。香港對我於言是一個天明地淨的世界,而《天作之盒》中間的人和人之間的關係是那麼簡單而激勵人心。後來Ricci來到香港,我因此在科大和中大威爾斯親王醫院中間奔走,對香港九龍新界開始熟悉,我們在一起又看了好幾遍,發覺原來電影裡面的醫院和街道場景是在香港如此熟悉。

在2018年看這部14年前出品的電影,簡直令人心震撼。那個世界的聲音是粵語和英語的美妙的混合體,親切幽默而熱情。14年過去了,這種聲音越來越陌生了,我們聽到的更多的是警惕和焦躁。

在《天作之盒》描寫的2004年的那個世界裡,人們有簡單而美好的期許,而非犬儒的失望和不屑。今天這個世界的話語權,由知乎之類的網站壟斷,千言萬語,可以歸結成為一句話:從巴黎到紐約到倫敦到香港,走遍千山萬水,全世界都令人失望及了,唯一的樂土在強國。

今天的我們,已經難以想像“澳洲醫學院”在一個香港醫生心目中的地位之高——彷彿只要一個人到達那裏,其他一切都不重要。2004年的我們的目標真的很簡單:離開故土,到海外那些金光閃閃的地方去,完全不計較那麼巨大的不適應。一切順理成章。

看著這部電影,你幾乎無法記起overtreatment (“過度醫療”)是什麼意思。即使這部電影過度理想化了一個職業,我依然願意相信那個世界的存在。

如果《天作之盒》裡面的醫生的質樸在2004年讓我無比震撼的話,那麼在2018年我依然震撼。在一個冬夜,90分鐘的電影讓我淚水漣漣。我向各位推薦這部電影——《天作之盒》關乎永不停歇的奮鬥和青春。

這個立春時節,恭祝各位青春永駐。在此一起重溫Youth:

Youth
by Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

青  春
塞繆爾·厄爾曼

青春不是年華,而是心境;青春不是桃面、丹唇、柔膝,而是深沉的意志,恢宏的想像,炙熱的戀情;青春是生命的深泉在湧流。

青春氣貫長虹,勇銳蓋過怯弱,進取壓倒苟安。如此銳氣,二十後生而有之,六旬男子則更多見。年歲有加,並非垂老,理想丟棄,方墮暮年。

歲月悠悠,衰微只及肌膚;熱忱拋卻,頹廢必致靈魂。憂煩,惶恐,喪失自信,定使心靈扭曲,意氣如灰。

無論年屆花甲,擬或二八芳齡,心中皆有生命之歡樂,奇跡之誘惑,孩童般天真久盛不衰。人人心中皆有一台天線,只要你從天上人間接受美好、希望、歡樂、勇氣和力量的信號,你就青春永駐,風華常存。

一旦天線下降,銳氣便被冰雪覆蓋,玩世不恭、自暴自棄油然而生,即使年方二十,實已垂垂老矣;然則只要樹起天線,捕捉樂觀信號,你就有望在八十高齡告別塵寰時仍覺年輕。

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A Terrible Beauty is Born

美國對復活節的重視,遠遠不及英國和香港,但店鋪基本上全部關門,往日氣勢不凡令人振奮的港口邊也異常安靜。在這個日子裏到校園,和在這個blog上寫東西差不多。

此等年月讀William Butler Yeats—“a politically reluctant poet“—的名詩”Easter 1916″,真是再應景不過。

Easter 1916

by William Butler Yeats
I

I have met them at close of day
Coming with vivid faces
From counter or desk among grey
Eighteenth-century houses.
I have passed with a nod of the head
Or polite meaningless words,
Or have lingered awhile and said
Polite meaningless words,
And thought before I had done
Of a mocking tale or a gibe
To please a companion
Around the fire at the club,
Being certain that they and I
But lived where motley is worn:
All changed, changed utterly:
A terrible beauty is born.

II

That woman’s days were spent
In ignorant good will,
Her nights in argument
Until her voice grew shrill.
What voice more sweet than hers
When young and beautiful,
She rode to harriers?
This man had kept a school
And rode our winged horse.
This other his helper and friend
Was coming into his force;
He might have won fame in the end,
So sensitive his nature seemed,
So daring and sweet his thought.
This other man I had dreamed
A drunken, vain-glorious lout.
He had done most bitter wrong
To some who are near my heart,
Yet I number him in the song;
He, too, has resigned his part
In the casual comedy;
He, too, has been changed in his turn,
Transformed utterly:
A terrible beauty is born.

III

Hearts with one purpose alone
Through summer and winter, seem
Enchanted to a stone
To trouble the living stream.
The horse that comes from the road,
The rider, the birds that range
From cloud to tumbling cloud,
Minute by minute change.
A shadow of cloud on the stream
Changes minute by minute;
A horse-hoof slides on the brim;
And a horse plashes within it
Where long-legged moor-hens dive
And hens to moor-cocks call.
Minute by minute they live:
The stone’s in the midst of all.

IV

Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.
O when may it suffice?
That is heaven’s part, our part
To murmur name upon name,
As a mother names her child
When sleep at last has come
On limbs that had run wild.
What is it but nightfall?
No, no, not night but death.
Was it needless death after all?
For England may keep faith
For all that is done and said.
We know their dream; enough
To know they dreamed and are dead.
And what if excess of love
Bewildered them till they died?
I write it out in a verse —
MacDonagh and MacBride
And Connolly and Pearse
Now and in time to be,
Wherever green is worn,
Are changed, changed utterly:
A terrible beauty is born.

Anaïs Nin

Anaïs Nin是一個爭議不斷傳奇⋯⋯ 可惜她的書在今天少有人讀。但她的蹤跡將留在她的語錄中,注定被不停分享——

Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage.

For you and for me the highest moment, the keenest joy, is not when our minds dominate but when we lose our minds…

People living deeply have no fear of death.

盛世的邏輯

仔細審視Eurotunnel (英法海底隧道) 這一世紀工程,你會發現無數鬧劇。一眾銀行的趨利避害本來合情合理,但訂立合約之苛刻,幾乎導致這個工程流產。即使後來隧道大幅度超支且延期開通,也多年難以擺脫慢性虧損的惡夢。直至2012年銀行聯合體刀下留情,才換來略顯體面的盈利。但過去將近30年間,Eurotunnel公司多次財務重組,股價多次“跌到阿媽都唔識”。

今天,討論Eurotunnel這個經典案例,遇到的最大的困難不是梳理清晰各種的利益網絡或者錯誤合約決策,而是說服聽眾Eurotunnel不夠成功。

“什麼,才超支65%? 延期?什麼延期?不過區區一年而已。”

“這種工程根本不應該從經濟利益分析!應該有長遠眼光。”

“而且股東也不見得會一直損失,早就止蝕離場了,不止蝕者只能以愚蠢形容。而且還能做空呢!”

無論你的立場多麼堅定,你也不能否認這些觀點有其合理性。那麼,討論這個案例的意義何在呢?

其實,這就是盛世的邏輯。經歷了互聯網泡沫,然後是全球金融風暴,以及阿拉伯之春短暫的喜悅之後的恐怖的圖景,你無法不贊同這種邏輯的真確性。

盛世的邏輯的強大之處在於,它不止改變了很多討論,而是讓很多討論失去了意義。

中國的金融體制改革?這個體制真的有問題嗎?如果這個體制是全世界最優越的——實踐業已驗證——那麼改革的意義是什麼呢?

反思文革?如果文革有問題,則這個國家的執政黨有問題。但這個國家的執政黨有問題嗎?顯然不是——即使算上文革的失去的十年,中國的發展成就仍然舉世無雙——這個執政黨是偉大光榮正確的。所以,沒什麼好反思的——不能以後三十年而否定前三十年。

香港佔中?沒什麼好討論的——大陸不需要真普選,也能創造令香港人嫉妒的成就。推翻獨裁政制的地區,反倒四面受敵,看看今日南非的荒唐處境,看看印度的無所不在且毫無收斂跡象的對女性的侵犯,看看令人膽戰心驚的ISIS的崛起!香港為什麼需要民主呢?因為對大陸的嫉妒而生發的發洩而已!

美國?一個注定將要沒落的國家而已。美國的xyz,不值得討論。

還有什麼是值得討論的呢?是“大大”的菜單,還是“麻麻”的手機型號?身為中國人的豪邁?

不甘於沈默的人們,有一線困惑的人們,你在哪裡?你也被盛世的邏輯誘惑了麽?

我們開始發聲,好嗎?

作為發聲的第一步,讓我們先討論三個問題:

1. 比較習近平—王岐山體制和薄熙來—王立軍體制,究竟有何不同?

2. 今天普天之下對習近平—王岐山體制的毫無保留的讚譽,比起當年重慶上下對薄熙來—王立軍體制的讚譽,究竟有何不同?

3. 今天中國的經濟成就,是習近平—王岐山體制的成就,還是鄧小平直至胡錦濤–溫家寶時代的成就?

讓我們一點點地剖析盛世的邏輯,好麽?

“然而只恨我的眼界小,單是中國,這一年的大事件也可以算是很多的了,我竟往往沒有論及,似乎無所感触。我早就很希望中國的青年站出來,對于中國的社會,文明,都毫無忌憚地加以批評⋯⋯ 可惜來說話的竟很少⋯⋯ [更多的卻]是對于反抗者的打擊,這實在是使我怕敢想下去的。

“現在是一年的盡頭的深夜,深得這夜將盡了,我的生命,至少是一部分的生命,已經耗費在寫這些無聊的東西中,而我所獲得的,乃是我自己的靈魂的荒涼和粗糙。但是我并不懼憚這些,也不想遮蓋這些,而且實在有些愛他們了,因為這是我轉輾而生活于風沙中的瘢痕。凡有自己也覺得在風沙中轉輾而生活著的,會知道這意思。”

—— 魯迅 《華蓋集》 題記